wisdom?

You get what you get and you don't get upset.

I can't tell you how many times my cousin, K (who's currently 5), has told me that. Mostly when she's asking for something in particular (like a pink cup) and I can't find it and give her something else (like a blue cup). I always laugh and say, that's right K. We take what's dealt to us.

Well, 2IF has been dealt to me. I find myself getting upset when I hear about accidental pregnancies or planned pregnancies with to-be parents that are no where need ready to be to-be parents (maybe give up drugs before trying to get pregnant instead of thinking pregnancy will get you off drugs) and it isn't fair of me. It isn't their fault that I'm having issues. I can't fault them for being able to get pregnant. I'm happy that they're happy with their situation however they arrived at it.

You get what you get and you don't get upset.

I've got a good life, a husband that loves and supports me, a beautiful baby girl and a great dog. We'll get through it. Our family will grow the way it's supposed to. I'll stop getting upset over things I have no control over. Ok, I'll TRY to stop getting upset over things I have no control over.

b/w - takes 4 & 5

I feel like a pin cushion.

My hormone levels are good, and right where they should be.

No more b/w until 2/1. :)

b/w & u/s take 3

We have growth. Not a ton of growth, but growth none the less. Follie is up to 18mm, up from 14 on Tuesday. My hormone levels are still a little low, but not horribly so.

Round 4 of b/w tomorrow morning. At least I get a break from the dildo-cam.

b/w & u/s take 2

Today started of horribly.
I slept poorly. Woke up uncomfortable and had to get out of the house quickly for my appointments.
then it started...
~I fell down the stairs. That fecking HURT!
~I was running late, b/c today it snowed. You know, it's the first time it's EVER snowed IN THE HISTORY OF RI & MA! :eyeroll: If you can't drive in the snow in RI & MA, get the hell off the roads!
~I got stuck in an elevator. I cannot even describe the panic & fear I have of getting in elevators to begin with so getting on one that was all wonky and then wouldn't let me off... I was crying when I checked in.
~The receptionist typed in the wrong patient name and acted like I gave her the wrong name. Sorry lady, I'm pretty sure I know my name and you're the one who screwed up.
~follie grew 1mm over the last 2 days :/
~I walked into the trailer hitch of some douchnozzles truck. The hitch was around 12" off the back of the truck, hanging out in the middle of a parking lot.

and then the day got better.
~Bronx Bagel had fresh poppy bagels and pain cream cheese.
~I made $84 consigning 3 diaper boxes of baby clothes!


So that was my day. I go back on Friday for another u/s and more b/w. I'm responding to the clomid, just "eeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvver so slowly. Painfully slowly" to be exact :/

cd13 u/s & b/w

I was not pleased with my appointments today.
I got to the hospital at 8:10, checked in at the lab and since there was a 20-30 minute wait, I went to radiology early for my 8:30 appointment.

Well.... They're running behind and suggest I go back to the lab b/c it's going to be a little while. The tech is doing an ER case right now and there is still another patient before me.

I get back to the lab at 8:15.

I wait.

There are a lot of people who have apparently never heard of the registration line. They're upset that they aren't having their b/w done b/c they never registered and the have to do that first.

There's a 500lb pregnant woman coughing up a lung. She keeps telling the nurse she's been fasting and needs to be next for her glucose test. The nurse reminds her that there are people ahead of her for the 12th time and finally tells her that fasting is not eating for at least 12 hours. You do not need to fast for a glucose test. You have not been fasting as I've seen you eating cookies from your purse since you arrived.
Way to go nurse!

There's an anorexic looking pregnant woman waiting to take her glucose test. She's done this several times. She tells the nurse who gives her the drink that she hopes she can stay clean long enough to take care of this one. Her partner looks like he's about to jump out of his skin if he doesn't take something soon. He jumps up and runs out of the waiting room, dropping a blister pack of pills in between the double doors.

It's 8:45 now, so I ask how much longer. I hate being that patient, but I do have to get back upstairs to radiology. There are still 2 people ahead of me, but they'll hold my spot and take me as soon as I get back if I want to run upstairs.

Go back to radiology. They called me 2 minutes before I got there, but were waiting for me. GREAT, now it's going to be my fault if people are late.

Quick scan reveals 1 follie. 1. Measuring at 13mm.
1 at 13.
1.

last month, with no meds, I had 1 at 15 and "lots of little ones".

I somehow failed clomid. WTF.

Back to the lab where the nurse has just called the person after me, so she tells me I'm next.

Quick blood draw, nothing special...
until the yelling.
phlebotomist: WHY DOESN'T SARAH'S STICKER SAY STAT?!
nurse: I DON'T KNOW.
phlebotomist: YOU NEED TO MAKE A NEW ONE! MAKE IT NOW!
nurse: DON'T YELL AT ME! THE ORDER DIDN'T SAY STAT.
phlebotomist: YES IT DOES! I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE IT SAYS STAT! ::looks back at me:: you're all set honey have a great day!
::storms over to the nurse waving my order::


I could not get out fast enough.
Now I wait for the phone call with the blood results.

I'm calling it now, another wasted cycle.



BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!
got the call. Estridol is at 40, not *bad* for 1 lonely 13mm follie, but not great. I have repeat u/s & b/w on Tuesday.

Here's hoping for some growth.

clomid side effects

Day 1 - within an hour of taking the pill, I was dizzy. GREAT.
Day 2 - only took 20 minutes on night 2 to get dizzy. Then the headache hit. You know when you get a migraine and you can't function. Similar to that. I could function, but wouldn't mind if someone had removed my head with a rusty scythe while I functioned.
Day 3 - another night where it only took 20 minutes until I had a side effect. THANKFULLY, I was only dizzy for about an hour and then *poof* I felt great.
Day 4 - I was feeling pretty good when the 20 minute mark came and went without the room spinning. I even said to DH, I didn't get dizzy tonight. ummm, only a dumb ass makes that announcement 25 minutes after taking a pill. ::waves:: Hi, I'm the dumb ass. I got so dizzy that I had to be helped up the stairs and into bed.
Day 5 - I felt good. 20 minutes came and went... 30 minutes came and went... by the time I went to bed 2 hours after taking it, there had been absolutely no dizziness.

Here's hoping one cycle is all I need of the clomid. It's difficult to care for the Belle when I can't walk straight :/

clomid starts tonight

The ass crack of dawn found me in my car, driving to the hospital for b/w & u/s. Everything is clear and clomid starts tonight.

I'm nervous. I'm always nervous when I start a new medication, especially when no one will be around. Stupid drug allergies messing with my life all the time.

Other news... hopefully Belle is teething, otherwise she has a cold. A yucky, snotty, low grade fever causing cold. I hope it's teething!

onto Clomid

Yesterday we met with the RE again.

I'm not going to lie, I was shocked when he started talking about IUIs as soon as we sat down. SHOCKED. I was under the impression we were going over test results and talking about what all of our options for the next cycle were. We did talk about the results and he answered all of my questions, but he did seem to be pushing the IUI. We talked a bit and decided that, yes, the medicated cycle would be the next step and possibly the best option at the moment, but we aren't ready for an IUI. We just aren't "there" yet. I need to learn more before I'm comfortable enough to take that step.

We did go over the IUI handbook and fill out the paperwork an IUI for our next cycle (if we're there) and got some b/w and appointments set up.

and there it is. Baseline u/s & b/w Friday morning and clomid Friday night.

here's hoping.